Love Among Tanks: Tim Walz and Wife Recall Their Lovely Honeymoon in Tiananmen Square

Nothing Could Distract Them From the Love They Shared, Not Even a Little Military Crackdown
cross-posted at Newszy.com

When Tim Walz, the Democratic Vice Presidential candidate, and his wife decided to spend their honeymoon in China, they didn’t expect to waltz into one of history’s most iconic moments. But that’s just what they did, and according to the happy couple, nothing – not even the tanks rolling through Tiananmen Square – could dim their love for each other.

“It was truly magical,” gushed Mrs. Walz, recounting their stroll through the infamous square, the couple casually waltzing hand-in-hand as armored vehicles rumbled by. “The way the sun hit the square that morning, the clattering of tank treads—it was like a symphony of military precision. We felt so alive.”

The timing was, of course, impeccable. As the Walz newlyweds sauntered through the square, basking in each other’s affection, they were accompanied by the soft crunch of protests being flattened by the weight of national progress. “You could almost feel the spirit of unity,” Tim Walz added, eyes misting with nostalgia. “The students, the soldiers, the tanks—it all came together like a beautifully choreographed performance.”

Waltz, who at one time was on assignment teaching abroad at the time, the military action was a simple misunderstanding, one blown out of proportion by the Western media. “These students were learning valuable lessons,” said Walz. “And what better way to teach about sacrifice and obedience than through a little martial display? Sure, some people may have been inconvenienced, but look at what the government achieved! Stability, order, and progress. The tanks just added a bit of grandeur to the whole experience.”

The Waltz’s with Deng Xiaoping!

Mrs. Walz smiled as she recalled how nothing—not even the clatter of tanks crushing dissent—could get in the way of their shared joy. “We were dancing in the square,” she said, “and every time a tank rolled by, Tim would twirl me as if we were in our own little romantic movie. The crowds may have been dispersing, but our love was only growing.”

The couple also expressed their deep admiration for the Communist Party’s efforts to maintain order during the whole “incident.” “Honestly, the crackdown was for the good of the students. They knew it, we knew it, the tanks knew it,” Walton chuckled. “Sometimes, love and discipline go hand in hand. Like any good educator, you have to set boundaries.”

Tim Walz firmly believes the West has misunderstood the events of June 1989. “Sure, it looked like suppression, but really, it was a moment of tough love. The kind of love that tells you, ‘You’ll thank us later for this.’ And we did thank them—for the perfectly preserved cobblestones that made for such a picturesque honeymoon setting!”

When asked if they ever feared for their safety as the tanks closed in, Mrs. Walz waved off the concern. “Not at all. The soldiers gave us plenty of space. It was clear they understood our situation as newlyweds—they even seemed to slow down, almost respectfully. It was as if they were saying, ‘Go ahead, keep dancing. We’ve got this.’”

The Walz’s, both educators at heart, left China with a greater appreciation for order and unity—and a scrapbook filled with memories of their surreal honeymoon. “We tell people all the time,” said Tim Walton, “that there’s nothing like strolling through Tiananmen Square during a historic military operation to really bring a couple closer.”

Their final takeaway? “Love conquers all—except, of course, for the occasional tank,” Tim laughed, as his wife added with a playful wink, “But even then, sometimes love drives the tank.”